It’s not you, It’s me.

After about three years of enjoying being a newly wed couple, Aaron and I decided to finally expand our family. Not to mention, the hints of all our parents were not added pressure (much denoted sarcasm). I came off all forms of birth control and thought, this will happen so fast! I had heard stories from friends who had simply tried once and got pregnant and hoped that would be us. Boy was I wrong! We tried for about five months and I started to chalk it up to being off sync due to schools, training exercises and other work related events that kept Aaron and I apart during our fertility window. I became best friends with every TTC group, webpage, and Pinterest on “methods to get pregnant fast.” I now could dub my own magazine title of instead of “Keeping it hot” it should really be “Drive your man into the ground with baby talk!” I read every alternative article on healthy ways to increase any hormone needed to foster a healthy conception, watched my weight, ate healthy, tried supplements, used Pre-Seed like it was water, and still nothing.

We were living at Fort Campbell, KY and finally decided that maybe we should get professionally checked out. I was referred off post to a fertility specialist in Hopkinsville, KY and was given what I thought was a full workup. Bless my young, naive heart. The doctor basically did an ultrasound and asked if I had regular period. He never took blood work nor went into depth about our attempts to conceive. He told me there was nothing wrong with me and that my husband should get checked out. I felt very discouraged and felt like it was a waste of my time.

Aaron deployed shortly after that appointment and was gone for 9 months. Upon his return, he was referred to a Urologist to see if the hang up was really him or if I was really losing my mind. At this point, I would trust I was losing my mind. After multiple samples given, we had a light shine in our dark baby cave.

Varicocele. An enlargement of the veins within the scrotum. This was the diagnosis that we thought would answer all our problems. The Urologist advised that Aaron have a procedure to cauterize the blood vessels in his scrotum as a means to decrease his natural body heat and allow a natural amount of sperm be produced. He also told us that Aaron had a very low count and motility and that it would be nearly impossible for us to conceive without the surgery. This was our future course of action that we were excited to entertain because we knew it was the key to our end state. However, with the nature of both of our jobs, we both deployed and the surgery was put in the “when we get back” category of our life.

Fast forward to 22 months apart between deployments, school, PCS’ing (that is moving to another location for those non-military folk). Aaron calls his Urologist to schedule the surgery and is told that he recommends us waiting to our next duty station which we would be arriving to within the next two months due to the lack of follow-up care he would be able to provide. Boy time has not been on our side!

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