I began the day digging in the yard, planting new flowers. I often find that is where I do my best thinking. The yard, the shower, the car….you know pretty much anywhere where writing down a list of things I think up are almost impossible to capture on paper. It was then that I bluntly asked Aaron, “So what are we going to do babe?” He looked at me like I was throwing questions from left field, but he knew what I was asking about. He responded with something along the lines of whatever you want to do. It was then that I brought up the idea of adoption. Our fertility journey had gotten to the point that I didn’t get excited about any part of it. I knew something had to change in order to get the end result we were searching for.
We began researching different adoption options, from any kind of format imaginable. We listened to podcasts about Child Protective Service options and private adoptions. We talked to friends who had done both and made a huge list of pros and cons of each. Now, this is where some people would say that maybe we are selfish, but let me tell you, when I look into my heart of hearts, I know I could not adopt from CPS. I say this because of the point of CPS is to re-unite the child back with the birth parents, NOT THE ADOPTIVE POSSIBILITY. This means, we could foster a potential child that we could fall in love with just for them to be re-united with their birth parent, over and over again.
This would not only kill my soul slowly, but I think would just add to my already existing thoughts that Aaron and I ever being parents is just Gods sick joke. Don’t get me wrong, I have a very healthy relationship with the big man upstairs and I talk to him regularly. This was definitely the eliminating factor for CPS adoption for us. We continued to listen to podcasts, research websites, and interview different private agencies for a match that would make sense to our needs. We had made another pro and con list between organizations that we would want to work with.
Obviously, we wanted an organization that we would get the most bang for our buck and that we would give us our desired end state, a sweet baby! We were approved by several organizations that we interviewed with, but we decided to go with American Adoptions due to the perks of their nationwide service. After finally debating on choosing an organization, we starting debating the next step, PAYING FOR IT!
This is why we began leaning more towards adoption and not IVF. After making yet another pro and con list, privatized adoption checked all our boxes. The perks of me not missing work due to maternity leave, no bounce back for physical recovery, and the cost of IVF vs adoption. For the same cost of IVF, adoption would still give us a little one. But how you ask? Well, because the cost of treatments, medications, alternative procedures, and not to mention it may NOT WORK AT ALL or end in another miscarriage is literally the same cost of adoption. Now, I’m no genius, but this was a very clear line in the sand for us.
Stay tuned for updates!